If anyone has been keeping track, on Wednesday, it will be five weeks since I've posted a podcast. The reasons are a couple - one - the media review that I was using for the next episode has really crappy audio quality because of a recording glitch, and I really don't feel good about putting it out.

But it's also because I don't know what to say when I get behind the mike for my opener and closer. It's not that I don't have things to say - I usually have a list of topics that I could prattle on about, and there are wedding preparations, etc. But then I don't feel like it's current enough, or relavent enough.

I also have really had the chance to do different things with different people out in the real room - and when given the choice of doing something and working on the podcast - I'll choose doing something every time. Even when I'm supposed to have a show out that night.

What struck me this week as I made up the umpteenth page of notes for recording the podcast - I started doing BL8TN on my own last year as a way to get out of my shell - to get out of my room and out into the world. I've done that - with greater success than I ever could have imagined. My life has changed so much in the past year - it's amazing. So - to stay in and do the podcast seems counterintuitive.

I think I also need to market myself differently. I'm not the geeky single mom anymore - I'm not single anymore, and I know there have been some listeners that don't like that - and they've let me know. (and creeped me out in the process)

So I need to change. Something about the podcast - maybe the format - I know I want to dump the music, and get something of better quailty and different. I think I want to change the format as well - the media review format of the old BL8TN seems tired to me now - and it's frustrating to have meetings scheduled with people, and have something turn it upside down - that's caused more delays. Or to have crappy quality ruin it. And I've discovering that I HATE editing. And I'm very bad at directing how the reviews will go. Sigh.

So I'm thinking of a change - I still want to chronicle what's going on in my life - but I need a theme of some sort. As for reviews - I almost want to keep them solo for the time being - and having a theme to them - like picking one of my series on DVDs and talking about each episode in order. Or maybe reviving my minute movie review idea that I had a couple of years ago. Though a reviewer on my favorite movie review podcast is doing that.

But I find myself without direction. Do I want to put the show on hiatus (though I think Dan will not be happy with that - he wants me to keep doing something that's all mine)? Or at least change the release schedule for the time being until things calm down with the wedding? Sigh - I don't know.

Current Mood: pensive