It's been quite the weekend - we got 'new to us' furniture, and with that, we had to move my old stuff out - it was quite an undertaking. And then we hosted a dinner with our wedding party, and I have to say - we have an awesome group of people standing up with us for the wedding. But of course, doing all of this in one day left me tired. Very tired.

And with a new, comfy couch, I found that taking a nap (or two or three), during the course of the day has left me up at this hour, which I realize for some podcasters is not late, but for little old me, it's the dead middle of the night.

And when I can't sleep, that's when all the things I'm letting fall by the wayside, all the things I'm worried about come out to haunt me. One of those is Better Late Than Never - I haven't been giving it the attention I should, and I've felt guilty at my lack of sticking to a release schedule, or even getting new content in the format I had set up for it.

And looking at my life, and how it's changed, I know now that for the time being, I need to put BL8TN on hiatus, if not just end it completely. I hate that I just can't seem to get it all done, but I'm approaching burn out. I need a week of vacation really badly - I didn't take one this year, and the week I am taking off is the week of the wedding - THAT's not going to be a vacation.

Work has been extremely taxing and difficult lately, and while I couldn't do any actual podcasting work, most of my planning, outlines and show notes were written there. I can't do that now, and what I actually have to do work wise is somewhat above my head, and I'm having to enforce policies that I don't agree with. It's very damaging to the soul, when I've done what I can to help programs, that now I can't because someone above my head decided that our program needs to be different. That's all I'll say about it, but my days at work are wearing, and when I come home, there isn't much left to give, and what there is - go to the Quicksilver Kid and Dan. Oh, and there is a wedding in two months that I have to plan and execute.

Just scheduling stuff for BL8TN is tough. I'm down for the count just when most people are becoming available, and there are those that have just been ignoring me, which I can understand, because what I was doing is hardly relevant. But it's mostly on my end - I'm supposed to get with Paul Fischer to figure out what's bringing down the audio quality of Metamor City on my end, and I haven't been able to find time to do it in two weeks. So basically, what that leads me to is that BL8TN is best off going on hiatus. I'll post an audio announcement if I get to it this week.

It makes me sad - I've felt cut off from the Tribe lately - probably because I'm not out there producing content like I used to - and am not around online like I used to be. And have been unable to make it to some of the regional gatherings - which make me sad, because there are people that I muss just so much, and taking part in the Twitter conversation has been hard lately too. I know especially in this corner of new media, where stuff is incredibly disposable, that out of sight means out of mind.

I'm still going to be on Fanboy Hell, so I'm not completely disappearing, but I don't know how many BL8TN listeners headed over there at all. And I'm going to finish my commitment to Making the Cut - and hopefully I can get the audio problems worked out (need to find time to talk with Paul). And if asked, I'll do audio for people, though people haven't been asking, and I don't think they will. I have a feeling I'm just not that good at the voice work thing and the quality of productions have gone up so exponentially, that I can't keep up.

So that's it - and now I'm just going to have a bit of a nebulous rant, because that is part of what has been keeping me up tonight. I'm not going to be going to a certain unconference that's happening in two weeks. I'm not going to name it, because I'd rather not make waves, but how it's been set up has really annoyed me. I really believe that the rules under which this event is supposed to be set up are being ignored, and that if I go - I'll be paying to listen to commercials for the day, for services that I wouldn't need or even want. It's also in an area where I don't feel safe to bring my laptop, and I've had a peek at some of the behind the scenes going on - having already been 'big-timed', and to see the lack of organization - I just don't want to be a part of it this year. And there really aren't going to be any Tribe there. If there were - I'd go just to see them. That alone would be worth the cost of admission.

So, that's about it - I know I'll still be posting here, but probably not more frequently than I have been. If you are subscribed to the feed - keep an eye out for an audio announcement. And maybe some other stuff - I'm not letting go of the libsyn account, so I might just throw randome promos in the feed for people.

Here's where I sign off, and hopefully get back to sleep. So - good luck and good night. May you all sleep better than I am tonight.